The Road Less Traveled

It's been a month since I have posted.  I need to do it more.  I have been working my way through "the Artist's Way" that my sister Pat sent me for my birthday.  It suggested "Morning Pages".  This is a place to dump what is in your head first thing in the morning in order to proceed with a clear mind.  Mine seem to be "Mourning Pages".  I will commit to write in my blog more but I need to be careful about being too personal since the whole world can read it. 

I have kept very busy since I arrived in Las Vegas and my soul has suffered.  I know that I am different from my freinds.  I have always taken the road less traveled but I am convinced that it is not a choice but who I am.  I need lots of alone contemplative time in order to stay balanced.  I do this while I am reading or painting.  I feel very alone, insecure and scared in the middle of chaos and clammer.  Even, laughter and merrymaking.  I am happy for those that can enjoy that but I can take it in small doses.  My twelve step program tells me that the answer to whirling dervishes is to let them whirl.  To me that means "detach". 

I have decided to pare down my activities and give myself more painting and alone time.  I set up my painting room yesterday.  I moved all of my painting clutter and my jewelry clutter to that room and organized it.  Now my home is a clutter free zone and my room is just for me.  I have my paints, my favorite candle, my chair, my books and from time to time, my dogs.   This makes Me happy.