It's been a month since I have posted. I need to do it more. I have been working my way through "the Artist's Way" that my sister Pat sent me for my birthday. It suggested "Morning Pages". This is a place to dump what is in your head first thing in the morning in order to proceed with a clear mind. Mine seem to be "Mourning Pages". I will commit to write in my blog more but I need to be careful about being too personal since the whole world can read it.
I have kept very busy since I arrived in Las Vegas and my soul has suffered. I know that I am different from my freinds. I have always taken the road less traveled but I am convinced that it is not a choice but who I am. I need lots of alone contemplative time in order to stay balanced. I do this while I am reading or painting. I feel very alone, insecure and scared in the middle of chaos and clammer. Even, laughter and merrymaking. I am happy for those that can enjoy that but I can take it in small doses. My twelve step program tells me that the answer to whirling dervishes is to let them whirl. To me that means "detach".